i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Randomize
