I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize