im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
