if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize
