You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
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after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
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Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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