He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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