She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
this is an emotional support booty call
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
