ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
