Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
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He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
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donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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