i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
