take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
