i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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