No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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