Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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