Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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