Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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