just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
