i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
