So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
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Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
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Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
my nose is crying tears of wow.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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