You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
