Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
