Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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