you guys were way drunker than both of me
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
