My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
