And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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