Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
