I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
