Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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