I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
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It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
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So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
a victory without nudity is not really a victory