Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?