Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?