told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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