do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
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Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT