Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.