i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
