So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
