im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
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