theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I wish there were birth control emojis
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
we're so committed to being not committed
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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