I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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