Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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