Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
