i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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