First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
i now understand why vodka
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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