Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You have to summon your inner elephant
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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