I CAN MOONWALK!
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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