I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
