Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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