I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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