She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
my shit smells like andre
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Randomize
