i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
