Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
