Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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