I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
