I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize