he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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