I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
