i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
