I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
ttyl tear gas
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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