its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
