In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
