I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
