she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
