I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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