so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You pole danced in your parka.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize