After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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